Published: October 12, 2009 04:31 pm      

Turn it Around

By: Alice Tremaine

It’s one of those days: you have a busy day all planned out when someone throws you a major curve ball and the plan no longer works. Or you are minding your own business and doing the best you can, when an angry person bites your head off for no good reason. Your heart beats faster, your blood pressure rises, and you feel yourself wanting to scream. Sound familiar? If you are at all busy, sleep deprived, over-worked or stressed, even a small thing such as a honk in traffic is enough to set you off on this reactive path. Once you start on this road, it takes some intentionality to get yourself back to peachy. Follow these suggestions to prevent such reactions or to change your pace before you blow up on an unsuspecting person.

1) Slow down. We are more likely to feel stressed and to be indelicate with others if we are in a hurry. If traffic is backed up or the grocery line is too slow, and you feel the stress bubbling up, take a breath. How important is it for you to be on time, or for things to go exactly as planned? Will it matter tomorrow? Will it matter in five years? Getting some perspective may be all you need to cool down and adapt to whatever life has thrown your way. Even repeating a cliché to yourself such as “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” can be effective to help you make the best of disruptions.

2) Get a good night of sleep. Sleeping is one of our bodies’ best defenses against stress. Sleep deprivation can have serious health consequences and it drastically impacts our mood and ability to handle emotions. Experts say most adults need 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night. If you are a night owl like me, you might just need some discipline to get to bed earlier. If it is not possible for you to devote more time to sleep every night, try to schedule naps and sleep-in days, and make up for lost sleep as soon as possible. Talk to your doctor about how to maximize your sleep time.

3) Eat well and exercise. When we are busy and/or stressed, we are more likely to reach for fast food and candy bars, and less likely to spend time on exercise. Skipping on good nutrition and exercise does more than impact your weight; it makes you even more susceptible to the bad effects of stress. Sugar highs and lows, empty calories and a lack of exercise will send you right into a cranky overload. Pack healthy snacks such as nuts, fruit and low-fat cheese to have on hand throughout the day. Plan out your meals in advance, and make sure you exercise for at least 10 to 30 minutes every day – especially when you know you have a stressful day ahead of you.

4) Maintain a spiritual practice. It is said that Martin Luther spent two hours on prayer each day — except on particularly busy days, when he would pray for three hours. He was on to something: spiritual practices such as prayer and meditation have been shown to relieve stress and improve focus. Feeling attuned with God may also put you in the right state of mind to deal with life’s quandaries, or you may feel directed to change your plans altogether. Use prayer in the moment to help calm you down, and keep a regular spiritual practice to sidestep potential problems.

5) Let it go. If stressed (or just plain rude!) individuals rub off their negative energy on you, don’t let it ruin your day. It’s tough not to take insults personally, but in most cases, it’s really not about you. Many people are under an incredible amount of stress and/or have limited emotional skills. Let go of the negative influence by telling yourself, “This stress (problem, anger, etc) is not mine and I will not carry it.” If you can access your compassionate side, say a prayer for the troubled ones, or send them good wishes. You just might turn their day around.