Published: July 31, 2009 03:54 pm      

New Things Worth the Effort

One Man's Journey, Entry 11

In my journey to become a healthier person, I’ve focused primarily on weight loss.

But overall health includes more than just the number of pounds I’ve lost. For me, it also included visiting the dentist.

I remember my first visit to a dentist here in Corbin very well. And the lesson I garnered from that trip had little to do with my oral health.

After I had finished seeing the dentist, I went into the lobby area to pay for my trip. While the billing person began the paperwork, I looked around the lobby. Underneath the flat panel television was a one-cup coffee maker with several gourmet selections of coffee.

I am a coffee aficionado. I drink at least six cups’ worth of wonderful black gold every morning. For my co-workers, it’s a necessity I follow this ritual; otherwise, I would be the last person you’d want to see every morning.

So to see gourmet coffee, was like watching pennies fall from heaven.

As the billing clerk continued on her way to make me poorer, I decided to try the white chocolate coffee that seemingly called out my name. The idea of making the coffee seemed simple enough: open the lid, place the desired flavored coffee in its slot and hit the appropriate-sized cup button.

I did just that. But after I hit the smallest available sized button, I noticed nothing happened. This is where I have to explain to you that patience is not a virtue of mine. I want instant gratification, especially from my coffee.

So I hit the medium cup button. Again, nothing happened. I hit the button another two or three times, and still nothing happened.

Now I’m becoming more impatient. I hit the largest cup size button repeatedly (maybe 15 times, give or take a few), hoping to end my frustration over not getting my liquid dessert drink.

Still, nothing happens. I am beginning to get agitated, grumbling under my breath a few undesirable words as I repeatedly tap all the buttons trying to get my coffee to begin its brewing.

My new thought, in my increasing anger over my inability to produce coffee from this machine, is that there is no water in the machine. Alas, a line that clearly was marked “water” appeared in the back of the machine, ending this possible problem.

I decided to turn my attention away from the coffee machine and back to the task at hand: paying for my dentist visit. As I turned, suddenly the machine began to hiss and whirl, and white liquid began to pour out of the top of the machine.

Elation overwhelmed me. Finally, I was getting my coffee. The machine gurgled as it emptied its final drops into my cup. Instantly, my life was complete.

Sadly, however, that euphoria was short lived. You see, with this particular coffee maker, hitting the button once is sufficient. Hitting the buttons like you are playing taps on a trumpet, well, that confuses the machine. Apparently, the machine doesn’t comprehend impatience; instead, it thinks you want to make multiple cups, one for every time you hit the button.

Immediately after I removed the cup from the machine, coffee began to percolate from the top of the machine again. There’s no basin or other areas for this machine’s overflow to drain into. So I rushed my cup underneath the opening to allow my cup of coffee to catch this newfound coffee.

As my cup began to fill up, I quickly grabbed a replacement from nearby. Again, the machine signaled the end of this cup, and I breathed a sigh of relief, at least for the two seconds before the machine began to show signs of new life. A third cup began to pour out of the coffee maker.

“Mr. Horn,” the billing clerk interrupted. “I am ready for you now.”

I had to end this fiasco. Finally, a light turned on inside my head as I am now replacing the second cup with the third: turn the power off. As I hit the button, nothing happened.

“Now what do I do,” I think to myself. I search the machine, and quickly come up with the final solution. I can unplug the electrical cord. I reach behind the machine, and finally, my nightmare comes to a quick end.

The moral of this story, as I pay my bill and take two and one-half cups of white chocolate coffee home with me in the process, is that you have to try new things. I’m sure that I looked like a moron to the three or four people in the waiting room.

But the end result of trying something outside of the realm of my usual, day-to-day activities? That was worth the effort!